11 Important Things to Do and Avoid After a Breakup

Going through a breakup can feel like an emotional collision at high speed, leaving your heart in turmoil and your thoughts scattered. However, just as there are protocols for dealing with a car crash, there are steps to follow for healing after a breakup. Whether your relationship was brief or long-lasting, understanding the emotional pain and employing effective coping strategies is essential. In this article, we'll explore the science behind breakups and provide you with a comprehensive guide on what to do and what to avoid during the healing process.

I. Understanding the Emotional Turmoil :

Breakups can be likened to physical pain, activating a 'fight or flight' mode in your brain. Gaining insight into this phenomenon is a valuable part of the healing process.

II. What To Do After A Breakup :

A. The Self-Care Regime :

Engaging in self-care goes beyond aesthetics. It rebalances neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, helping shift from stress to calm and focus.

B. Cognitive Emotional Regulation:

Utilize cognitive reframing with a mantra to gain control over your emotions, empowering you to overcome emotional turbulence.

C. The Social Media Cleanse:

Taking a break from social media allows your emotional system to reset, breaking free from constant dopamine triggers.

D. Journaling:

Journaling, based on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), helps reshape your emotional narrative and process your feelings.

E. Get Rid of Your Ex’s Things:

Surroundings have a significant impact, so pack away reminders of your past relationship to move forward effectively.

F. Avoid Drastic Changes:

Postpone major decisions as heightened emotions can cloud judgment, potentially leading to regrets.

G. Keep Yourself Busy:

A packed schedule represents behavioural activation, helping you navigate life after a breakup.

H. Be Patient with Yourself:

Healing is not linear; some days will feel like a romantic comedy, others like a tearful drama. Embrace your unfolding narrative.

III. What You Should NOT Do :

A. The Rebound Trap:

Avoid rebound relationships as they often result from emotional decisions made during a turbulent time. Take a break from dating apps until you can make clear and composed choices.

B. Don’t Rely on Substances:

Indulging in substances might provide temporary solace but doesn't resolve underlying issues and can lead to dependency.

C. Resist Overthinking and Ruminating:

Mental spirals can be cognitive distortions, leading to self-sabotage. Not every thought represents a concrete fact; be cautious when your mind engages in the blame game.

Navigating life after a breakup is a process that requires self-care, patience, and self-compassion. By understanding the emotional turmoil and following the recommended steps while avoiding common pitfalls, you can emerge from this challenging period stronger and ready for new beginnings.