15 Important Signs To Recognize a Selfish Person

We all have moments when we act selfishly. However, for some people, selfishness is a default state. They prioritize themselves above everyone else and will rarely go out of their way for others if it causes even slight inconvenience.

Such individuals often make themselves the focal point of every situation, often by overshadowing others. They are adept at concealing their self-centered tendencies, which means you might be unaware that someone close to you—like a partner or a best friend—has a selfish nature. If that’s the case, you're not alone.

Another trait of selfish people is their knack for drawing others into their self-centered world. Since everything revolves around them, they tend to pull everyone into this mindset. This is why being around them can feel exhausting.

How to Deal with Selfish People

If you've been hurt by someone’s selfishness, don’t blame yourself. Many people fall victim to this behavior without realizing it. It’s not easy to spot a selfish partner or friend early on in a relationship.

Typically, the signs only become clear later, and by then, changing their behavior is unlikely. Selfish individuals rarely change unless they recognize a problem in themselves.

Identifying selfishness isn't straightforward, especially in the beginning. That’s why we’ve compiled 15 signs to help you determine if someone in your life is behaving selfishly and doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

# They Seem Friendly at First, But It Doesn’t Last

Selfish people can be inconsistent, often starting off as sweet and genuine. This initial friendliness is a facade, designed to win your trust. Once they feel secure in that, their true nature begins to show.

# They’re Always Asking for Favors

A selfish person is never shy about asking for favors, whether big or small. At first, it might seem endearing that they feel comfortable asking for help, but soon you realize they were never uncomfortable to begin with.

# They Find Excuses to Avoid Helping You

When it’s your turn to ask for help, they come up with the weakest excuses. Whether it’s a sudden "emergency" or a busy schedule, they always have a reason to avoid supporting you—even when you know their schedule doesn’t match their claims.

# They’re Two-Faced

Selfish individuals are masters of being two-faced. They might act friendly towards people they dislike, only to speak poorly about them behind their backs. This duplicity is a common trait among them.

# They Have a Habit of Using People

To get what they want, selfish people have no qualms about using others. They might even boast about it, treating their manipulations as a joke. This is a serious red flag in any friendship or relationship.

# They’re Skilled People-Pleasers

They excel at putting their best foot forward, ensuring you see only what they want you to see. They create a flawless first impression, hiding any warning signs until you’re deeply invested in the relationship.

# They Are Excessively Friendly

Their excessive friendliness can be deceiving. Compliments, smiles, and gestures are all part of their act to draw you in. However genuine it may seem, it often masks ulterior motives.

# They Only Commit When It Benefits Them

True friendships and relationships are about giving without expecting anything in return. Selfish people don’t understand this concept; they only commit when there’s a clear benefit for them.

# They Show Little Concern for Others

When you open up about your feelings or discuss something sensitive, don’t expect empathy. Selfish people tend to dismiss others' emotions, often accusing them of being dramatic or overreacting.

# They Are Manipulative and Dishonest

Manipulation is their forte. Whether through gaslighting, blame-shifting, or outright lying, selfish individuals know how to twist situations to their advantage. Apologizing or taking accountability is rare for them.

# They Need to Be in Control

Control is crucial to selfish people. They prefer to have the upper hand in every situation, often subtly manipulating those around them to ensure things go their way.

# They Struggle with Teamwork

Collaboration is difficult for selfish individuals because they aren’t open-minded. They tend to dismiss others’ ideas and push their own, resisting any form of teamwork or cooperation.

# They Expect the World to Revolve Around Them

These individuals want everything to cater to their needs and preferences. They often disregard other people’s opinions and want things to unfold on their terms, reflecting their self-centered nature.

# They Have an Overwhelming Sense of Entitlement

Selfish people believe they deserve everything, whether they’ve earned it or not. When they ask for favors, it’s not out of humility but entitlement, expecting others to comply.

# They Avoid Showing Vulnerability

Vulnerability is something selfish people rarely display. They fear it could be used against them and are more concerned with maintaining control. Even if their situation is dire, they prefer to suppress their emotions rather than reveal them.