Understanding your partner: The key to a lasting marriage

While childhood sayings like "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" undeniably seem silly and juvenile, in some way they do highlight the fact that partners often perceive and interact with the world differently. It’s partly due to the upbringing we receive from our parents, the culture we grow up around, and our biological inclinations. Knowing and valuing these differences is crucial for building a strong and lasting marriage. Truly knowing your partner— understanding their background, what bothers them, and how they handle conflict— is essential for a lasting relationship.

Choosing the right partner
This is the first step to a lasting marriage. Find someone whose values, goals, and vision align with yours. Physical attraction brings two people close, but it’s compatibility that builds a bond. This means looking beyond superficial values like appearances, bank balance, and surface-level traits before taking the plunge. It is about finding someone who complements your strengths and weaknesses and with whom you can grow together.

The power of communication
Communication is key to a healthy relationship, and for good reason. Open, honest, and respectful communication helps couples express their needs, resolve conflicts, and deepen their connection. It is not just about talking, but also about listening actively and empathetically to your partner, and coming up with a solution together, whether it’s a problem to be solved, conflict, or just an occasion to vent.

Developing emotional intelligence
Developing emotional intelligence can help understand your partner better. This means recognising and managing your own emotions and being attuned to your partner's emotional state. Emotional intelligence helps you respond to your partner's needs with sensitivity and effectiveness.

Establish clear boundaries

Another crucial aspect is establishing clear boundaries. Boundaries help define what is acceptable and unacceptable within the relationship, nurturing mutual respect and preventing resentment. These boundaries should be discussed openly and agreed upon by both partners.

Maintain individuality
While marriage is a partnership, it’s crucial to maintain your individuality. Encourage personal growth, support each other’s interests, and respect the need for personal space. This individuality improves the relationship by bringing diverse perspectives and experiences. Support each other’s ambitions and hobbies, celebrate each other’s successes, and provide space when needed. By nurturing your own identity, you bring a richer, more fulfilling dynamic to the partnership.

Avoid pointing fingers
Avoid the blame game; it’s toxic and counter-productive. Instead, approach issues as a team. Work on solutions together, recognizing that you are partners in this journey. Blaming each other only creates distance and resentment. Foster a problem-solving mindset where both partners collaborate to overcome challenges. Plan for the future together, set goals, and dream big as a team. By working together, you build a stronger, more united front that can withstand any obstacles.

Planning ahead
Planning for the future together is a powerful way to align your visions and strengthen your bond. This involves setting financial goals, planning for a family, or mapping out career aspirations. Approach this as a joint effort, considering both partners’ desires and concerns. And remember to keep things positive! Try to have more good moments than bad. Little things matter—a kind word, a hug, sharing a laugh. They add up.

All successful marriages are based on commitment, love, and respect. It is important to understand that strong marriages do not happen overnight. They require consistent effort, patience, and a willingness to grow together. There will be challenges and difficult times, but if approached with the right mindset, they can actually strengthen your bond. Marriage is a journey of continuous learning and growth, where both partners commit to deeper understanding and appreciation over time.

Authored by: Anuradha Gupta, Founder & CEO, Vows For Eternity